May 9, 2023
Now that I am a mother, I understand why my mother really wanted me to be a mother. I never understood why she would look at me with eyes of pity every time I would declare that I never wanted to have children. Despite my declarations, she would pray for me to have children and tell me that although I was 35 and very single, “she still had hope”. To be honest, I would get a little annoyed that she had zero regard for what I wanted in life, and for some reason felt the need to impose her “societal standards” on me. In fact, every woman that was a mother reacted the same way. Now that I am a mother, I understand.
Now that I am a mother, I understand that they were not imposing societal standards on me that I believed “did not apply to me” but rather they felt bad that I was willingly passing on the most beautiful experience a woman could have in her lifetime. My mother was not trying to impose anything on me, rather she wanted her daughter to experience the most valuable gift you pass on to your baby girl, the ability to become a mother herself.
Now that I am a mother, I cannot imagine being anything else. I cannot imagine a world where I did not feel so much love for my child but also for everything and everyone around him. I cannot imagine denying myself of the woman I was able to become when I became a mother. To think there was ever a version of myself that did not think herself worthy of this gift. I understand every woman that looked at me with the “you will be missing out” look. It was never pity, it was never an imposition, it was the fact that they knew I would be missing out on love. A love so indescribable, so immense, so unconditional and unequivocal that it was not something they could explain in words.
Now that I am a mother, I understand that we are not just women that bring life into the world, we become the whole world to a life. We have the ability to grow an entire universe within our wombs. A sacred space that we have no idea how much power it contains until we become mothers. We are women that outperform what is humanly possible day in and day out, and it begins at the very moment we conceive. From the moment we experience what our bodies can accomplish during pregnancy, to the moment we give birth, and then it carries on for the rest of our lives. We do things we did not think we could, we do it all while the world tells us we cannot. We do not give up, we persist, we love, we cry, we laugh, we wonder how, we give it our all, we even get lost sometimes. It’s motherhood, it’s not messy, it’s complex, it’s the universe we created. A universe that looks us in the eye, and say’s “I love you mom”. We make the impossible possible, we hold the power within our wombs, a power that can only be experienced through motherhood.
Today (and every day) we celebrate that power. Today we remind you of what you are capable of, what you have created, and what you represent. This is motherhood, a sacred experience and a beautiful journey. It’s not easy, it’s not made to be, but boy is it wonderful. Remember to celebrate it at every stage, to soak up the little moments, the big moments, the slow days, the hard days and the easy days. In this lifetime, at this moment, this is your gift. Happy Mother’s Day.
May 31, 2023